Friday, October 26, 2012

7 weeks Post-Op & a NSV!!!

Lots of things going on this week….first the numbers! I didn’t weigh in last Friday since I had a Dr appt. on Wednesday, so back on track this week. This week (and a half) weigh-in showed a loss of 4.3lbs. For a total loss of ...

36.1 LBS!!

As far as my protein and water intake…I know I need more! Yesterday was awful as far as getting in what I needed. My little boy is sick so, taking him to the doctor yesterday, I got in a little breakfast. Came home by lunch cooked us some chicken with some broccoli and cheese. I ate a little, still very little actually tastes good to me. It sounds good and looks good but when I start eating…not so much. Then like a bad WLS patient, I didn’t eat anything else yesterday until I got home from Support Group at 9pm. Because of my little man being sick, I missed a couple days at the gym. I felt completely guilty but my little man being well is my #1 priority.

Support Group was good; I missed my girls that are usually there that had the same surgery just a few weeks before me. Also, it was the last meeting of the year. Not another one until the 4th Thursday of January…that scares me a little. I like being around people that understand what life is like after surgery and understand the challenges and rewards that come with it.

OH!! I did have the most A-MAZ-ING NSV this past weekend! My clothes are huge, right?! So, I had this meeting coming up at work and I have to go to the Division Office and with colder weather approaching, I wanted to look decent, not like I was wearing a tent. I was in Belk and they had moved the plus size section. I couldn’t find it anywhere and I never like to ask where it is…it’s just embarrassing that I have to say it out loud. So, I wondered over to the “regular people” racks. I have been looking for a black cardigan. I still have some sleeveless tops that I can get by with a smaller cardigan. So, I find one. I say what the heck let me try this on. I NEVER expected it to fit; I was totally prepared for it not to. BUT!!! It fit! An XL! That is HUGE for me. I don’t even remember the last time I wore something from the missy’s section. It had to be in High School and for a short amount of time. Then I got brave. I grabbed some pants off the rack and headed into the dressing room. An 18 fit perfect and not an 18W either!! I ended up buying two sweaters and two pairs of dress pants. So much better than my 2X-3X and my 22W/24W that I had worn forever. Honestly, that is the first time since surgery I have felt proud of myself. I have been excited about losing and seeing my clothes getting bigger, although I don’t really see it when I look in the mirror. This is working, slowly but surely!

So, this weekend I promised my little man we would carve a pumpkin, I don’t ever remembering doing that before so this should be interesting. I like to see him excited about things, it makes me excited. This is the first year that he actually gets the whole trick or treat thing. He is going to be Capt. America (he is super hero crazy). I’ll post a pic next week and possibly get in one of ours truly. J

Thursday, October 18, 2012

6 week Post-Op Appt

I have never liked going to the doctor. I’ve always dreaded having to get on the scale. Then after you get on the scale, they take your blood pressure. Of course after I saw I much I had gained, my blood pressure would be high, dreading the conversation that me and my doctor were going to have…AGAIN!

Going to the doctor now is different. Since surgery, I feel so much better after going. I look forward to stepping on the scale. I’m totally honest with them and tell them all about my crazy ways of thinking and my feelings now about food. She just nodded saying, “Completely normal” Wow, Me normal? Not even.

Yesterday afternoon was my 6 week post-op appt. I went in stepped on the scale…so happy!! Since my normal weigh-in last Friday; I had lost another 3.2lbs! That is a total loss of…


YAY!! I reached the 30lb mark! I believe I really owe it to the gym and my sleeve of course!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Roller Coaster Ride of Emotions

I have been reading a lot about emotions after bariatric surgery. I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions in the last couple of weeks. I know we all deal with emotions after having WLS to a certain degree.

I’m over 5 weeks out from surgery and I’ve lost just over 30lbs! Going to the gym has given me a lot more energy than I can ever remember having. My back pain has diminished to the point that I hardly have any pain at all. I no longer have Type II Diabetes. I saw several people over the weekend that I haven’t seen since before surgery or not since right after surgery. I got so many compliments. Everyone thought I was looking well and could tell that I had lost weight. Everyone knows about my surgery, if they don’t and they ask what I am doing, I’ll tell them. Sometimes it’s a bit of a drawback. Some people think that you have surgery and BAM you’re skinny and the weight just melts off. Not even close! However, I have only had positive feedback and I don’t regret letting it be known.

With all the positive feedback and with my progress, you would think that I should be ecstatic. So, why do I feel down a lot of the time? This feeling of depravation is overwhelming. I realize that it’s not physical, physically I feel great most days. It’s all mental. This weekend I found myself doubting that I made the right decision with having this surgery. Why, because of food? That seems so silly to me. Do I really have this intense relationship with eating? The answer is, yes! Anytime I was upset, bored, lonely, etc…I ate whatever and however much I wanted to make me feel “fulfilled”. Eating filled whatever void I was feeling. I can’t physically do that anymore. So, what do I do now? How do I deal with voids now?

Being around other people eating has just recently started to bother me. I don’t like going to restaurants anymore. Eating is no longer a pleasure to me, it’s a chore. Maybe that is what I am missing, the pleasure of eating…I feel so abnormal eating. Will I ever sit down to a meal and feel normal?

I know this post seems like I just ungrateful for this opportunity to become a healthy person. I’m very grateful though, I am very happy with all my progress. I hoping the part of my brain that is making me ride this roller coaster can soon catch up with the rest of me. If you know me, you know, I hate roller coasters!

Friday, October 12, 2012

5 weeks Post-Op

I have had a much better week this week. I have been able to get in my protein and liquids (most days) and have made myself hit the gym. On Wednesday, the last thing I wanted to do was workout but I went and felt so much better afterwards…Yay me! I wanted to see more results this week compared to my last week’s loss of 1.2lbs and I did!!  I had a loss this week of 3.4lbs!!!! For a total loss of…

28.6 lbs!!!

I am so happy with that! Almost to the 30lb down mark!! I am inching closer to my goal of being in “Onederland” by the end of the year. J

I have my 6-week follow-up next Wednesday, so hopefully my Dr will be happy with my progress too.

Friday, October 5, 2012

4 weeks Post-Op and a HUGE NSV!!!

I haven’t had the greatest week physically or emotionally. Been dealing with tummy issues the first part of the week, which made it next to impossible to meet my protein and liquid goals. To top it off, my taste buds when crazy this week. NOTHING tastes right anymore. Everything basically tastes like junk! It's either too sweet or I can't stomach the consistency. I just didn't see this coming at all! Then, I wasn’t able to get to the gym as often I would have liked. With all of that though...I still had a loss this week. So I will definitely take it!! I’m down 1.2lbs with week which makes a total loss of…


I am hoping for a better week coming up and I am trying to figure out how to get to the gym more often. They only have child care in the evenings two times a week, so that in itself is an issue. I also am thinking about taking the Power Plunge class (water aerobics). On the nights I don’t get there, I need to make a conscious effort to do some kind of exercise. This week...I will do better!!

Now on to my NSV!!! (Non-Scale Victory)  I followed up with my PCP on Tuesday. The first time I had seen him since surgery. He was aware that I was meeting with a bariatric surgeon and looking to have some form of WLS but I didn’t let him know when it was scheduled. I already had this appointment set up to go back to him. So, I thought I just let it be a surprise! He was thrilled with my progress. He wanted to take some labs…my Hemoglobin A1C mainly. Just to see where my diabetes stood. I hadn’t been on my sugar meds since surgery and my finger sticks had been great. So, I was excited to see my levels also. He called me the next afternoon (I absolutely love having an MD who will call you himself!) My levels were outstanding compared to my last labs!!

He told me that I officially no longer had Type II Diabetes!!

That brightened my week up tremendously!! So, it may be slow and I may have a very long road ahead of me to reach my goal. But, I am moving in the right direction now!!

Monday, October 1, 2012

3 weeks Post-Op

I’m a little late posting but here is an update…

Friday I had an appointment with the Nutritionist at my surgeon’s office. I had been struggling with getting in my proteins and liquids for a few days and having a couple other issues. After meeting with him though, I felt better knowing that what I was experiencing was completely normal and I would get to my goal of 60-80 grams of protein and 64oz of liquids a day. I also met with him because as of Friday I could add soft foods to my diet (fork tender foods)…legally that is. Yes, I have had eggs, chicken, fish…etc. in my 3rd week. Done well most of the time but had a couple trail and errors occur. I am learning what the “Comfortably Full” feeling actually feels like. I also got to weigh Friday and I had lost 2 more LBS!! So now, my total loss is…

24 LBS!!

Not so bad for 3 weeks out. He told me they usually like to see a loss of 15-20 pounds at my time frame, so all in all scale wise…I’m thrilled!

I have found that I do so much better on the weekends with Protein and liquids then I do at work. I get busy and side-tracked and then I realize I haven’t drank or eaten anything for 2-3 hours…NOT GOOD!! I’ve got to better!!! I feel so run down lately. I’m sure it’s from not meeting my goal of daily intake.

I have also found that I do get hungry, not in the way I used to, my stomach still does not growl (thank goodness) but I’ll start thinking about food….junk food, fast food, anything I could possibly get my hands on quick. That happened to me Saturday; I was out shopping with my Mom and little guy. I ate before we left and brought something to sip on. I was drinking the whole time but about 4 hours later, I started noticing food all around me. I started thinking to myself, “Wonder if I could eat that?” “Maybe I could eat just a little of this”. I let myself get hungry I guess.

Another thing that I have noticed is in week 2 and 3 being around food didn’t bother me, but everything looked so good. Foods I didn’t even like before surgery. Just to smell food made me happy…crazy huh. Then in the last week, all of a sudden I could care less, food still looks good but I have lost all desire for any of it. I eat because I have to…not enough but I’m working on it. If I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t eat

(minus something crunchy…I’d kill for something crunchy!!!)

Nothing really tastes good to me anymore. Especially a protein shake…yuck!!  I feel if I have to drink one more I will gag!! I got this lactose intolerance crap going on and I’m so sick of Muscle Milk!! It’s just gross to me. I would buy something else but I don’t really want to spend a lot of money on protein powder and then I hate it too. The nutritionist told me that if I was able to get enough of protein from food that I didn’t have to do shakes. I guess I’m just really tired of thinking about the whole thing. I need a better attitude about eating and drinking. I want to be healthy and I know if I don’t do what I supposed to, I won’t be.

Any advice? I’ll sure take it!!