I have been reading a lot about emotions after bariatric surgery. I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions in the last couple of weeks. I know we all deal with emotions after having WLS to a certain degree.
I’m over 5 weeks out from surgery and I’ve lost just over 30lbs! Going to the gym has given me a lot more energy than I can ever remember having. My back pain has diminished to the point that I hardly have any pain at all. I no longer have Type II Diabetes. I saw several people over the weekend that I haven’t seen since before surgery or not since right after surgery. I got so many compliments. Everyone thought I was looking well and could tell that I had lost weight. Everyone knows about my surgery, if they don’t and they ask what I am doing, I’ll tell them. Sometimes it’s a bit of a drawback. Some people think that you have surgery and BAM you’re skinny and the weight just melts off. Not even close! However, I have only had positive feedback and I don’t regret letting it be known.
With all the positive feedback and with my progress, you would think that I should be ecstatic. So, why do I feel down a lot of the time? This feeling of depravation is overwhelming. I realize that it’s not physical, physically I feel great most days. It’s all mental. This weekend I found myself doubting that I made the right decision with having this surgery. Why, because of food? That seems so silly to me. Do I really have this intense relationship with eating? The answer is, yes! Anytime I was upset, bored, lonely, etc…I ate whatever and however much I wanted to make me feel “fulfilled”. Eating filled whatever void I was feeling. I can’t physically do that anymore. So, what do I do now? How do I deal with voids now?
Being around other people eating has just recently started to bother me. I don’t like going to restaurants anymore. Eating is no longer a pleasure to me, it’s a chore. Maybe that is what I am missing, the pleasure of eating…I feel so abnormal eating. Will I ever sit down to a meal and feel normal?
I know this post seems like I just ungrateful for this opportunity to become a healthy person. I’m very grateful though, I am very happy with all my progress. I hoping the part of my brain that is making me ride this roller coaster can soon catch up with the rest of me. If you know me, you know, I hate roller coasters!
Hi, I know exactly what you are going through. I've been through this with the band surgery and now have just gotten the sleeve and going through it all again. I realise that my relationship with food is beyond normal and I've joined a binge eating group for an 8 week program. It's not just for 'binge' eating but learning to identify the triggers and learning preventative measures, also it assista with making you change your attitude towards the way we view food (diet v healthy meal plan; good v bad food (which there isn't!...all in moderation) (but this attitude takes alot of time to change because we have decades of ingrained way of thinking towards 'diet'. Perhaps seeking some therapy that helps you deal with stuff when you would normally turn to food. As I'm already aware of my situation and triggers I'm finding it's helping alot (even though I'm not 'bingeing' anymore. It really has helped ...you are going to go through huge emotional changes on this journey....it's about not just physically healing the body but healing the mental side of things too...if you don't take steps mentally success will be so much harder later down the track...xx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment. I am considering seeing the psychologist I saw prior to surgery again for a follow-up. Hope you are doing well
DeleteNew VSG here (last week!) and am going through your blog from the beginning. Thanks for your updates and this post specifically. I know it's going to be hard. I already even in my clear liquids am craving some foods and I already am feeling like maybe I shouldn't have done it which is insane. Posts like these help. Thanks!
ReplyDelete