11 Months Post-Op

I haven’t posted in so long. I was just going to wait until my 1 year surgiversary but there has been so many things going on in my life, I felt I needed to write about it. I am 11 months post op now. I haven’t reached my goal yet but I am slowly and surely going to get there. I have lost a total of 105lbs. I have 20lbs more to lose. I’ll get there! I feel good physically. I am physically a completely different person now. I have energy and I’m able to do so much more with so less effort. It’s an awesome feeling!! I still struggle with my fat brain. It wants to eat the wrong things; it wants to tell me that my loose skin is hideous and that I am still that fat and insecure girl. I listen much less then I used to though  I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately. My husband and I have separated. We had serious problems prior to my weight loss and he wasn’t too thrilled about me having surgery anyway. I think a lot had to do with his insecurities in that we had a big age gap between us (me being the younger one). It was my decision and a very difficult one. I had stayed in the marriage because of our precious little boy. However, I didn’t feel like it was fair to any of us for him to be raised in a home where it was always stressful, tense and his parents were not happy. It has been hard on all of us. However, my main concern and priority is with my little guy that he adjusts well and knows that not only is this not his fault but that both his parents love and adore him and will take care of him. He is only 4 and he’s slowly coming around. We have good and bad days. Due to everything going on, I haven’t been hitting the gym like I was. I know I will get there. I have been attending one or two Zumba classes a week…I LOVE Zumba!! I know my fluid and protein consumption hasn’t been as great as they have been. Stress definitely has an effect on my sleeve. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let this discourage me or sabotage all that I have worked for. So, I am going to pay more attention…for a few weeks I was using My Fitness Pal, which helped me a lot. Got to get back on that! I also have my year follow-up with my surgeon on September 4th. I can’t wait!!! I’ll update and keep you posted how it goes. Take Care guys!!